Tag: Laughs
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: #Laughs A couple was having a discussion about what
to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
@Laughs
3 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Did you hear
about the witch who went in for
the lovely legs competition?
She was beaten by the microphone
stand.
@Laughs
3 Hours ago
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: #Laughs What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry
?
A hoppercraft !
@Laughs
3 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A minister gave a talk to the Lion's Club on sex.When he got home he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and
@Laughs
3 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in
Iowa?
They couldn't find three wise men!!!
@Laughs
4 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A duck walks into a bar, sits down at the barstool, and waits for the bartender.
@Laughs
4 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beryl
!
Beryl who ?
Beryl of beer !
@Laughs
5 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A guy stumbles
through the
front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a
beer.
@Laughs
5 Hours ago
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: #Laughs It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.We are born naked, wet, and hungry.
@Laughs
5 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A Packer fan was enjoying himself at
the game in a packed Lambeau Field,
until he noticed an empty seat
down in front.
@Laughs
6 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in themirror.
@Laughs
6 Hours ago
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: #Laughs What do you call a snake that informs the police
?
A grass snake !
@Laughs
6 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? - A: The
Outside.
@Laughs
6 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Stress-Relieving PrayerLord,Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I cannot accept,And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those peopleI had to kill today because they pissed me off.And, help me to
@Laughs
6 Hours ago
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: #Laughs What did one amorous flea say to the other?
I
love you aw-flea.
@Laughs
6 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A man is strolling past the mental
hospital and suddenly
remembers an important
meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late
or not.
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A woman feared that her husband was losing interest in her sexually.
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs What time is it when a clock strikes
thirteen?
Time to get it fixed.
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Knock Knock Who's there? Amsterdam! Amsterdam who? Amsterdam tired of all these Knock Knock jokes! Knock Knock Who's there? Amos! Amos who? Amosquito just bit me! Knock Knock Who's there? Amy! Amy who? Amy fraid I've forgotten! Knock Knock Who's t
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs What is a country song played backwards?Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your carstarts, you get your job back and life is great.
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Mommy,mommy:can I play with grandma? Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last weeek! mommy,mommy:I hate daddyis guts.
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.She: Well, you succeeded!
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs That bull you sold
me is a lazy
good-for-nothing!
I told you he was a bum steer!
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A:
They always forget the recipe.
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Knock Knock
Who's there !
Anna
!
Anna who ?
Annather brick in the wall !
@Laughs
7 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Why did the spotted pigs run away?
They
thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on
the
dotted swine.
@Laughs
8 Hours ago
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: #Laughs There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Junkie Barbie ...complete with needle tracks
@Laughs
8 Hours ago
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: #Laughs The middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip.
@Laughs
8 Hours ago
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: #Laughs There is a new Barbie doll
on the
market - Battering Ram Barbie ...Barbie's head on the end of a
battering ram
@Laughs
8 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Police Chief: Why did you tie a rope on that
criminal?
Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.
@Laughs
8 Hours ago
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: #Laughs "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: 1.
@Laughs
9 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems.
@Laughs
9 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alan
!
Alan who ?
Alan a good cause !
@Laughs
9 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Psychiatrist to his nurse:
"Just say
we're very busy.
@Laughs
9 Hours ago
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: #Laughs An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society.
@Laughs
9 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Income tax examiner: What's your husband's average income?Wife: Oh, about midnight.
@Laughs
9 Hours ago
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: #Laughs I'm not going back to school ever again
Why
ever not?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask
questions!
@Laughs
10 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A travel agent looked up from his
desk to see an older lady and an
older gentleman peering in the
shop window at the posters showing
the glamorous destinations around
the world.
@Laughs
10 Hours ago
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: #Laughs A man calls his wife and says to her, "Honey, I just got the chance of alifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss.
@Laughs
10 Hours ago
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: #Laughs One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went.
@Laughs
10 Hours ago
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: #Laughs Why are Christmas trees like bad
knitters
?
They both drop their needles !
@Laughs
10 Hours ago
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: #Laughs First man: How'd you get that black eye?Second man: I called some woman a two-bit whore.First man: She punched you?Second man: Nope.
@Laughs
10 Hours ago
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: #Laughs |Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?Because he was a dirty double crosser!What do you call a sleeping bull?A bulldozer!What has two legs and flies?A pig!What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?A cow that can milk itself!W
@Laughs
10 Hours ago
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