Tag: Laughs
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: Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. #Laughs
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: #Laughs Dan: My little brother is a
real
pain.
Nan: Things could be worse.
Dan: How?
Nan: He could be
twins !
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: #Laughs First witch: My, hasn't your little
girl
grown ?
Second witch: Yes, she's certainly gruesome.
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: #Laughs |Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert."There's not much room on this page," he said.
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: #Laughs What do you get if you cross a spider and an
elephant ?
I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the
ceiling then run
before it collapses !
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: #Laughs There were these three models going by air to a photo shoot, Elle Mcpherson, Cindy Crawford, and Naomi Campbell.Halfway through the flight the plane had engine trouble, the pilot warned the girls to assume the crash position, just in case they wen
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: #Laughs If a man talking dirty to a woman is sexual harassment, what do you call a woman talking dirty to a man? .99 a minute!
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: #Laughs The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength.
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: #Laughs What is the definition of ultimate rejection? Your hand falling asleep while masturbating.
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: #Laughs Salesman: This jug is
genuine Indian
pottery.
Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland."
Salesman:
Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?
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: #Laughs A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of serviceby sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying onthe bed.
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: #Laughs |A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death.
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: #Laughs |The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband.
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: #Laughs Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to
the blonde?
A: It is the one with the kickstand.
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: #Laughs An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your
methods are too old fashioned.
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: #Laughs |It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper.
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: #Laughs Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man.
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: #Laughs What do you call a bunch of chickens playing
hide-and-seek ?
Fowl play !
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: #Laughs A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who
were
training to become detectives.
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: #Laughs Why did the cactus cross the road?It was stuck to the dumb chickenSent by Robbie
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: #Laughs A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof.
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: #Laughs Attorney to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?"Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."
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: #Laughs A priest and a nun are on their way
back
home from a trip when their car breaks down.
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: #Laughs Q: How many
Studio Executives does it
take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We don't know.
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: #Laughs If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you
know which one is the American Football player ?
The one in the
sugar bowl !
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: #Laughs Two aliens from outer space landed in Las Vegas
and were wandering around the casinos.
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: #Laughs You Just Might Be A Redneck If...You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
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: #Laughs A fire broke out in a six story apartment
building last week in a near by town.
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: #Laughs A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel, in the same room.
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