Tag: Laughs
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: #Laughs First witch: My, hasn't your little
girl
grown ?
Second witch: Yes, she's certainly gruesome.
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: #Laughs A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but she had also castrated her husband, circumcised her lover, taken two fingers off a
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: #Laughs I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo.
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: #Laughs How do we know that the "Toothbrush" was invented in West Virginia? - Had it been invented anywhere else it would have been called a "Teethbrush".
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: #Laughs |An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR.
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: #Laughs What is the difference between a crazy bunny
and a
counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a
mad bunny!
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: #Laughs At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence.
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: #Laughs Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?A: Just in case he got a hole-in-one!
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: #Laughs Politically Correct Feminine Terminology from aperreat@saunix.sau.edu: Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that youwould offend the person standing near you?...NOT.
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: #Laughs A retiring farmer in preparation for selling
his land, needed to rid his farm of animals.
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: #Laughs I
really don't understand why the federal
government was so slow to send
aid to the areas hit by Hurricane
Andrew.
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: #Laughs A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem.After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient.Doctor: 'It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it
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: #Laughs "What do you do?" a young man asked
the beautiful girl he was dancing with.
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: #Laughs Dear ________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr.
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: #Laughs Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so
fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were
leaving.
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: #Laughs On a narrow mountain's road a man saw a police
car driving
uphill backwards.
- Hi guys.
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: #Laughs Q: How many French
farmers does it take to
change a lightbulb ?
A: Three.
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: #Laughs Tombstone epitaphOn the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:Here liesEzekial AikleAge 102The Good Die Young.
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: #Laughs Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here
cooked for the late heads of Europe?
Waiter: Yes, and that's why
they are the late heads of
Europe.
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: #Laughs One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP! HELP!' When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning.
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: #Laughs Q: Did you hear about the man who was Polishing
the flagpole?
A: He varnished into thin air!
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: #Laughs When the waitress in a
New York City restaurant brought
him the soup du jour, the Englishman
was a bit dismayed.
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: #Laughs A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car,
but burned her lips
on the tailpipe.
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: #Laughs Q: What did one strawberry say to the
other?
A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"
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: #Laughs How do you know you're leading a sad life?When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
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: #Laughs A convicted con man was recently found to be
impersonating a lawyer in New York City.
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: #Laughs Why did the auditor cross the
road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last
year.
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: #Laughs Through infinite myst, software reverberatesIn code possess'd of invisible folly.Wilt thou dare interfaceWith thy Apple Macintosh keypadBy toggling my tweaky bosom?Alack!Leave laserjet laughter to the laptop lover.Behold beta beauty in a keyboard'
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: #Laughs What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law? Vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.
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: #Laughs |On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
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: #Laughs As the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive called his newly hired assistant into his office.
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: #Laughs A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, "Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated virtually all our visibility."The passengers were numb with fear,
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